You know, I wanted to share this with you. Really don’t know how exactly you feel about me. We both know that you don’t say much. The least I would think of me should have I been in your place, I would described my character as very unusual.
I hope you’re not embarrassed or even ashamed with what I’m doing. I was lucky enough to get to the point where I finally understood the ultra large picture and not the thumbnail icon throu which we normally see.
Looking at the thumbnail icon, we think we understood clearly what’s there, our brain classifies the image and done. In fact, we only see a small photo, we know what it is but we can’t see the exact details. Just like life. You always think that you know everything about it and you carry on.
Then, you take one wrong direction and you realise that everything you knew was so little. Those experiences, and I’m sure we all get plenty as we grow old, made me realise what’s more important for me. To extinguish the burning fire of remorse which would have lasted forever leading to my demise. To do the right thing.
For almost 3 years I lived hell on earth under the apparent happy face. I don’t know why it took so long, why almost a lifetime, however, just like I told you, WE ONLY LEARN FROM OUR OWN EXPERIENCES, no matter what others tell us and I am no different.
Maybe you can call me a slow learner if you want to make fun of me. I accept it. Bottom line is this. I have nothing else to prove myself besides leaving you with something good enough to avoid living what I had to live.
I’m not important and don’t need much besides my latte and my Davidoff cigarettes addiction so all that I’m concentrated now it’s you. Take advantage of me and what I am felling as meant to do.
Participate and say yes to every opportunity. Each one, wether you think you like it or not, will leave you with more, not less. In the real life, the chances to finding something to be paid and do exactly what you want are small to none.
The real deal is finding something you wont at least dislike. Be more enthusiastic, you have nothing to lose but a little time away from the 2 computer screens.
Just like the guy in the photo we have to push ourselves to succeed. He managed to lift almost half a tone and that’s the determination you need by your side to make it happen.
I love you, dad!